When we arrived into this big world we were given a name, something that identified who we were... some of us even got a sweet "nickname" sometime throughout our growing up years. Maybe from one of our parents, a sibling, or our grandparents~ all in the name of love. I admit, I have nicknames for some of my children..I call one of my daughters "MaryAnn", another one "Mary Ellen" and one of my son's "Bob"...the kids always smile and laugh, because its something fun between us.
but thats not always the case with a nickname.....
Halle came home from school the other day and I could tell that something was bothering her. We talked for a minute and then she told me what was on her mind. She told me about a nickname that some of her peers at school had come up with and had started calling her. As she told me about different experiences where they used this vicious name when referring to her, she was close to tears and I could see that her feelings were deeply hurt. Personally, I don't believe in intentionally hurting anyone...(and I try really hard not to)...especially with name calling. I've never understood those who use words to hurt another person, to give labels or make others feel worthless...maybe its because when I was a teenager I had a few "nicknames" that were very hurtful, and to this day they still affect how I feel about myself.
Halle told me that it was
"no big deal" and that it was
"okay"...but I could see on her face, as well as hear it in her voice, that it
really was a big deal and was NOT OKAY. Frustration and anger took over my emotions and I just wanted to go to the school and grab those kids by the ear and give them a piece of my mind (among a few other things!). It just makes my blood boil... and makes me want to come completly and utterly unleashed on some of the children whom
I KNOW have been taught better, and if nothing else, are
old enough to know better!!! I wished that kids, especially teenagers, realized the long term effects of how they treat each other. I don't know why some kids feel the need to
"step on someone else" to get a high. I don't know why some kids feel the need to hurt others to make themselves look better in someone else's eyes. I don't know why kids feel the need to laugh and make fun of someone else to feel important. I don't care whether your rich or poor, fat or thin, popular with your peers or the class clown...it hurts to be made fun of and put down...
by anyone. I don't know whether these kids will ever fully understand how bad they hurt others with their name calling, their rude jokes, their unkind gestures and the way they treat other people. For some reason it has become an excepted behavior in our schools as well as our society, something we consider as being OKAY AND NORMAL...when in reality, it's
NOT okay and it's
NOT normal...and if it has become so-then it needs to be changed!
It shouldn't matter what brand of clothing my children wear, it shouldn't matter how many letters are in our last name is, it shouldn't matter their body shape or size, it shouldn't matter if they are in athletics or not, it shouldn't matter how fast or slow they can run, it shouldn't matter if they ride a bus to school or get a ride in a CAR, it shouldn't matter that they don't have diamond studs on their jean pockets or a shoes from the most expensive store in the mall....
nothing gives anyone the right to give my child (as well as anyone else's child) an awful nickname or put them down. I don't know how many times I've heard the old cliche' —
" Kids will be Kids, let them work it out, they will out grow it"....I'm sorry, that doesn't cut it for me!! Kids need to be taught to be kind, to be thoughtful and to go out of their way to lift another person instead of making fun of and tearing someone else down...we need to expect positive behavior. We've all seen and heard the news lately about teens and young adults who have taken their own lives because of the hurtful acts or remarks of another person....Don't tell me
that "they will out grow it," I would almost bet those kids who teased and bullied in their youth are continuing to do so as they get older. Many of us go into "adulthood" with issues (some big, some small) that stem from experiences that we had during our jr. high and high school years, issues that sometimes never go away, even when we grow up. Kids need to understand that what they say doesn't just go away because they say,
"I'm just kidding!"...often times the hurtful remarks are branded into a persons soul. Those words and actions
can, and do, stay with a person for many years.
I know that kids can, and will be, mean, I know that all too well. Don't get me wrong,
I'm not standing on a soap box and saying that my kids are perfect...
I know they aren't. I'm not pointing fingers at anyone or anyone else's children...but after talking with Halle about this experience I have decided that it wouldn't hurt for me
to just remind my children once again that....
"Sticks and Stones break your bones...
and calling names are just as hurtful!!"
It's not okay to tear another person down...not today, not tomorrow....Not ever!
