drip...drop...drip..drip....

As the snow starts to melt from the roof of our house, the water finds the closest slope and begins to drip, drip, drop, drip, drip, drop... (since we don't have rain gutters). Slowly, but surely, the icicles have formed and become longer and larger as the water drips continually throughout the day and then freezes over night... leaving us with some rather LONG, hodgepodge looking spikes hanging down from the eves of the house. Some are very thick, bunched up and long, others are short, narrow and thin...but regardless, they are all quite a sight to behold. Every now and then while I busily work inside, doing my chores of the day, I hear one CRASH from its perch and come crumbling down to the wet, snowy surface below....

ALL a reminder that it's warming up!!! What a comforting thought for me!!

A little OCD never hurt anyone....

I love the feeling that I get when I am organized, when a part of my life that is chaotic finally gets straightened out, de-cluttered and put back in order. It's a calming feeling, a peaceful feeling and it makes me feel good all over. I recognize that I am not as organized in everything that I want to be...but, I have set a goal this year to "BECOME more organized". I bought a book called "Organize Now! by Jennifer Ford Berry (which I highly recommend) back in December. It has helped me immensely. It has short little chapters (1-4 pages) on organizing different areas of your life. Things like: "organizing your photo's, organizing your refrigerator, your purse, your crafts, your closets, yourself".. and so on. It takes you through, step by step, of what to do and how to do it, giving you a week to organize 52 things, therefore being completly organized in 1 year. Each chapter only takes minutes to read and you only have to read the ones that apply to your life...only the ones that you want to work on (that means if you don't have certain things to organize, you can be done before the years end).  After stumbling upon this book at the book store (because I was literally just wandering around without any real purpose) I thought I would buy the book and really put it to the test. I have been really happy with the results. The one thing that I have loved the most, at this point in the year, (after all, it's only February and I have an entire year to become completely organized right?!) is how "organized I have gotten my mind, myself". I use to have post it notes all over where I could see them. Notes on the fridge, on the cupboard doors, the mirrors etc...They were notes written to remind me of things to do, things not to forget, things that were important, appointments not to forget, where I had to be at certain times etc..etc.....since reading this book, I bought a planner notebook (nothing too fancy or expensive) that has each day of the week in it and places to write tasks and chores down...lots of places (which I love because I always have a lot to do on a daily basis). Each Sunday or Monday morning I make a list of things like appointments, responsibilities, chores and things that I want to get done that week (mostly they are all "have to do's")...then I take THAT list and write all the appointments down on their specific days, and then from that point~ all the things that HAVE to get done- on their specific day...and then with the remainder, I divide them up between each of the days of the week. (you get the idea) BEFORE~ I was writing the same list, but feeling overwhelmed come Monday morning when I looked at it because I felt like it all had to be done...RIGHT NOW. My list use to feel impossible and I usually found myself throwing it away by Tuesday, and only getting the very most important done (like the appointments or the errands) and bagging the rest of it...therefore not getting much accomplished. I would find myself walking around in circles sometimes, moving from project to project but not getting anything finished. I have found that by organizing myself, and my life a little bit more, I feel like I am not quite so stressed or overwhelmed. It's self satisfying and I feel like I will actually stick with it. It feels good to look at each day and see what I have to do, cross it off when its done and move on to the next thing. It's an awesome feeling. I know that sometimes I am little OCD with organization, but I find that "SOMETIMES" I have to be. I have to have some things in my life very organized to stay sane (okay, alot of things). Years ago, I had hunted for an hour (or more) for a black shirt that I KNEW that I had, yet couldn't find it anywhere. I had checked my closet countless times, my drawers, the hamper etc... and finally decided that the washer must have eaten it. That is when I decided that I was going to organize ALL OF my clothes. They were going to be hung on hangers and color coordinated...yes all of them (OCD I know)...and then to make it just a little easier for my poor mind, I put all of the long sleeved shirts, the jackets and the short-sleeved shirts of that particular color together...making it a much easier task on me when I want to find things. I WILL forever keep my closet that way, I absolutly love it because it makes my life easier and less stressful (PS..I found my shirt when I was doing all of this organizing)...and thats the way I feel about this "NEW organized ME"...it makes my life so much easier, so why would I ever want to change it?!

Whose "AfRaiD" of the big bad wolf...the big bad wolf....

I like to think that everyone is "AFRAID" of something and maybe that isn't true...but in my small little mind, I like to think so. I will be the first to admit that I am afraid of many things: snakes, spiders (especially swallowing them in my sleep), the dark, dieing, disappointing other people, not being true to myself...my list goes on and on. BUT one thing that I am truly TERRIFIED of are slick roads. I have been in 5 accidents (4 in one day) on weather related roads. All but 1 accident, I was a passenger in the vehicle. Four of the accidents were in the winter, on snowy, icy roads and one was on wet, rainy roads where we hydroplaned...all of which left me with an extreme fear of sliding, fish tailing, spinning,  rolling and being hit by other vehicles. I have tried over the years to force myself to drive on bad ("bad" by my specifications) roads and have forced myself to ride with others on bad roads...all in hopes to "break myself" from this debilitating fear. (NOTHING has worked) For me, being on bad weather roads does more than just turn my knuckles white...it sends me into panic mode. The fear of not only MY vehicle going out of control, but those around me as well,  is all too real. Whether I am behind the wheel or someone else is, I feel as though I can't breath, I can't concentrate and I can't control the uncontrollable shaking that comes from deep within my body....I am terrified and I want out of the vehicle!!!! I've had people make fun of me, roll their eyes and tease me, get upset, been disappointed, been hurt and even call me ridiculous, when I have had to cancel outings, appointments or trips...because of the weather. TO ME (and maybe only  ME) it is a VERY REAL fear...a terrifying, overwhelming FEAR. Some people are frightened by high places, some are scared of flying in airplanes, some people are scared of tight spaces, some people are afraid of water, some people are afraid of mice, some are afraid of fire...I am AFRAID of slick roads...(or even the possibility of them.) Its as REAL TO ME as anyone else's fear is to them. I have cried MANY tears behind closed doors because I can't conquer this problem (more than I like to admit). It's a debilitating, controlling and often NOT understood...FEAR!  Once last year my daughter had placed 3rd in an elementary school contest and was going to go on to the district level to compete. I was very excited for her to be going, as was she. It was the parents responsibility to make sure that their children got to the place where the district contest would be held and back home again. On the day of the contest we awoke to find that it was raining outside...I figured I would be tough and brave the trip and do this for her, although I was scared to death. We got into the car and headed north 25 minutes to where the school was. As we got out of town and up to  higher ground we found that it had snowed, the wind had (and was still) been blowing, freezing some of the rain and snow to the roads. The snow plows had been out and had sanded the road so I continued to press forward. I had my vehicle in 4-wheel drive and felt like it would be alright, even though my hands were shaking and I was near tears at this point. My daughter was talking to me  (I think, testing the water because she knew that I was frightened) about the contest and how it would be okay if we didn't go. BUT I could tell that she really wanted to go and was just saying that for my benefit. We continued to drive...but at a very slow pace. I could see in the tracks on the road where people had slid over into the other lane and off the side and it made my blood pressure rise....yet still I was determined to get her to this contest. As we came up over a hill I looked at the road and it looked as though the snow and slush was just frozen in place. The wind had blown the rain covered weeds on the side of the road, and bent them over, freezing them in an odd position. I knew the road was going to continue to get worse the higher we got (it had already proven that)...I couldn't handle it anymore. I broke down and the tears started to flow, running down my face. My daughter said, "Mom, it's okay, it's not that big of a deal. We can just go back. I won't feel bad." It just tore my heart out!!!! I felt like the biggest wimp, the biggest baby and such a waste of the human race. I trudged on a bit longer (mainly because I was going to prove to myself that I COULD do this) before I finally said, "Okay" and we turned around to come back home. We made it back without incidence and I dropped her back off at the school. I cried all the way home and for quite awhile after I got back into my house. It was awful! WHY can't I just get over this??? WHY does this fear have to control my life??? WHY can't I just be tough like everyone else??? WHY can't I feel safe on the roads???? WHY do I feel guilty because I CAN'T be brave???? WHY do I feel bad because other people DON'T understand my fear??? I don't know the answer to any of those questions. I don't know when or if I ever will. I have beat myself up over this particular incident with my daughter, many times. I have beat myself up over MANY other incidences where I "can't go" places because the roads "might" be bad. I don't know if I will ever over come my fear of "bad roads"...I don't know if it will ever go away. BUT one thing that I do know....It's a VERY real fear for me, yes, even a debilitating fear and something that I hope no one else ever has to deal with. BUT in the case that you do...know that you aren't alone...and that "IT'S OKAY, because everyone is afraid of something.

Food, Food, glorious FOOd.....

Just a quick NOTE to let all of you out there in my Blogger world know that Dayna (my oldest daughter) and I are going to start up a RECIPE BLOG....COMING SOON. We are trying and testing new recipes, getting several gathered up and ready to post...BUT I need your help~ I would like to know what kind of recipes interest you, what would you like to see alot of on our recipe blog: snacks, breads, salads, soups, main dishes, desserts, dips/sauces, special holiday recipes....give me some feedback of foods that you like to cook...we would love to make this blog into something "readers" will come back to over and over and enjoy. Hope to hear from you soon...you can email me (julie@ubtanet.com or juliewilkerson87@gmail.com) or just leave me a comment. We are super excited about this and can't wait to get it up and going....WOO HOO!

Go, Fight, Win....!

Cameron just wrapped up the end of his wrestling season for this year. He did an outstanding job. He placed 4th at the Region level and was able to go on to the State finals. He didn't place there but gave it his all. Great Job Cameron!!!

Warm Wishes~

Before we came up with the "Gift of Time" idea (refer to past post) for my dad's birthday gift...I had talked to each of my kids and told them that I wanted our family to make a "memory quilt" for him. I gave each of the kids a quilt block with the words "Remember when..." written on it. Then each of them wrote a memory that they had with grandpa on the block and drew a picture (something to do with the memory that they had previously written.) I was so thrilled that they all participated and seemed happy to accommodate my wishes. I then spent some late night hours and whipped up the quilt, having it all ready to give to my dad on his birthday. It wasn't anything fancy, nothing difficult or technical...just a good old lap quilt that will make him smile as it sits on his lap and keeps him warm while he watches some TV....and hopefully the memories will warm his heart and remind him that we love him very much.

Go Away...and DON'T come back!!!

Can I just say, that this winter seems like it has been the longest winter of my life?!!

Maybe its the bad economy, maybe its the snow, maybe its the frigged cold for days on end, maybe its life's ups and downs that seem to be MORE DOWNS than ups....

whatever it is...I am ready

for

it ALL to be gone!...every last bit of it!

On these long, cold, miserable, quiet days...I find myself reminiscing of happier times....warmer times....and of course MORE beautiful times!

LIKE.......

The sunny beaches of Honduras in the middle of the winter.....

...on a 7 day cruise with my BFF, her sweet heart and my sweet hubby...

OR

...on the beaches of Hawaii watching the whales with my

sweet hubby and his wonderful parents...

...and going for long hikes down through the thick trees that have giant

sized flowers growing on them....

OH THOSE were the days!!!!

How I long for better days... sunshine that actually brings HEAT to my body, and of

course LOTS and LOTS of pretty colors....

OH, and if anyone has an extra $10,000 laying around that they want to share...

Well -that wouldn't hurt either.

As far as I am concerned...Winter has done its job...NOW it can go away!!!!

"Sweet 16"....and only been KiSSeD OnCe?

Cameron has waited for what seems like "forever" to finally turn 16 (or so he says). I don't know if its the driving or the dating that he is more excited for.....(oh to be 16 again!) He got to go to the DMV and get his license ON his birthday, come home and DRIVE his truck to wrestling practice...he couldn't have been a happier boy. He has been driving alot with his dad and has alot of hours behind him, so I know that he is a good driver. For Cameron's birthday dinner he wanted steak...now for some of you that sounds easy enough...for ME on the other hand, it is not. We had beef in the freezer that we had bought a while ago, so the "buying" part of the meat was already taken care of...but the cooking part, well lets just say...I DON'T like steak and I don't cook it very well. So I browsed the Internet and found some different ways to cook this "lovely slab of cow flesh" in hopes to please this sweet teenage boy of mine. Since "Fillet Mignon" was the cut of steak that I pulled from the freezer, that was what I was going to tempt to cook....I know, tell me I am crazy...I KNOW its an expensive cut of meat and I was very fearful that I would blow it...and we would have "cooked Jerky" instead. To make a long story short, I amazed myself (and I think everyone else for that matter) and made a very tasty STEAK for my birthday boy. It was nice and juicy and tender and YUMMY! Cameron also wanted "Pineapple Upside down Cake" for dessert...another thing that I HAVE NEVER cooked (because I don't like it)...but it turned out delicious as well. Cameron is a sweetheart. He is one of the kindest, most thoughtful people that I know. He has a second sense and can feel when I am troubled or sad and always does his best to cheer me up. He is a great cook and wonderful at helping do chores around the house or in the yard (he prefers the great outdoors)...and will make someone a great hubby in the future...the LONG OFF future.

I love you Cameron...you are smart, so genuine and fun to be around.

You make me smile...you make me happy...

You are full of energy and zest!

Happy 16th Birthday Buddy!!!

Planes, trains and AuToMobilEs..oh my!

It was 10 months ago that Erik placed an order for his DREAM CAR....A SHINY BLACK Camero. He had dreamt about it, pondered over it, stressed about it and designed it just the way he wanted it to come directly from the factory. I thought that in the end...things wouldn't work out for him and that he wouldn't be able to get it....BUT, they were able to approve him for a loan and delivered his car on Friday....turning this grown man into a "little kid at Christmas time", bubbling over with excitement and thrill, he just couldn't quit smiling. It's a really nice car with alot of awesome features inside. I got to go for a ride in it and Erik proceeded to test my "speed tolerance" as he went from point A to point B in a matter of "split seconds"...lets just say that I prefer to be on all 4 wheels when I am on the road...flying is for airplanes. Deron got to ACTUALLY take it for a drive, getting to be the MAN behind the wheel with all of the power. He too was infected with the "smiling disease"...he said that it was the funnest car he had ever driven, grinning ear to ear. The Camero rides really smooth and it makes you feel like you are KING over the road. BUT...I have to say that MEN like expensive toys and I don't think that they ever outgrow their thrill for fast cars. Although, Erik is a really smart driver, cautious and careful, and I don't think that he will be "flying" much...he just had to test his wings a bit to see what his new car will do (at least that's what he's assured me). It's a fun ride. It looks really sharp and classy and I think Erik's going to have a lot of fun in it!

Time...its a true gift!

Dad's are one of those people that just "make the world go round"....at least my dad is!!! He turned 70 years old on Friday. As a teenager I remember when my grandparents turned 70 and I was sure that they "were SOOO old" but my dad doesn't seem "that old". He still gets around, doing whatever he wants to, he drives, he builds furniture, he reads, he plays with the grand kids, goes fishing, hunting...etc...maybe not moving as fast as he did a few years back, but all in all, he doesn't act like I thought a "70 year old" would act (maybe it has something to do with me "aging" as well). My brother and I planned a big party for him, hoping to make his day a WONDERFUL day packed full of memories. We had a party with a big cake and lots and lots of PIZZA. Who knew that we could all eat so many pieces of Pizza...but it seemed to disappear rather quickly. The kids all played guitar hero, hide and seek and sat around and chatted. Its fun to see the kids together with each other, and even though my kids are ALOT older than most of the cousins, they still enjoy talking and spending time with their cousins. Get together's with my family always result in alot of fun....we are a loud and goofy group of people...but we love being together.

Coming up with ideas for birthday presents are always hard, but for someone that seems to have everything that makes him happy and has everything (within reason) that he wants, it seems to be even harder. But...after talking with my brother about what to get Dad, he came up with an awesome idea. We decided to give him the "gift of time". Dad loves to spend time with his children and grandchildren. He loves to go fishing with them, visit with them, camping, having them over for the night, going for rides...anything- he just enjoys being with his family. What better gift to give him than "time" to do just that..."time with the people that he loves". So each of our families (my siblings and I) took a month during this next year and made a coupon good for "a special day with Dad/grandpa" doing different things ranging from a day of surprises, to dinner in the city, to going to the movies, to BBQ's and picnics. It will be fun to make special memories for both him and for our families, spending time doing fun things together. Dad had a wonderful party! He smiled alot, observed alot and seemed to be glad to be surrounded by the people that love him. ALL of his children (-1 daughter in law that had to work)

and most of his grandchildren (-3 grandson's, two that weren't able to be there and one deceased) were there, which made the day even that much nicer. I think he will love the "Gift of Time" especially as each month comes and he gets to spend a day with one of his children and their families. He will cherish the memories that he'll make for many years to come.

Monuments and Milestones...those big days in life!

Birthdays are a big thing in our house. We always try to make the "birthday person's" day big and special. They chose what they want for Breakfast and Dinner (lunch if they are here) and then an activity to do after we eat their chosen birthday cake. Kim and Cameron were both having "monumental" birthdays this year, as Kim turned 18 (2 yesterday) and Cameron turns 16 tomorrow. Kim's birthday was going to be super busy day as we were going to be at Cameron's Region Wrestling matches, so we opted to have her big birthday dinner a couple of days in advance. Her dinner of choice was...Italian Seashells, Olive Garden Salad (mock) and garlic toast...with rainbow chip cake for dessert. Eighteen is a huge birthday. Its the big day that you "all of a sudden" become an adult. She plans on graduating in May and then heading

off to get a job and going to college shortly thereafter. I don't know how thrilled I am to have another one leave the nest...but I also know that if she continued to live with us for years to come, that wouldn't benefit her growth as an adult either. I realize that moving out is an important part of growing up. She is a very independent and responsible young lady, who seems to know what she wants in life and doesn't seem to let anything get in the way of her dreams. I hope that she will continue to have that fight and drive as she heads out into the big world and sets forth to accomplish her life long goals. I am proud of the person that she is and I am excited to see what she continues to become.

I love you Kimber, you are a fun, corky, crazy wonderful kind of girl....You are a ray of sunshine in my life!

Hope you had a Happy 18th Birthday!

Blessings...despite turmoil~

Its been a long week to say the least.....BUT our heater is up and running now, thanks to some hard working"plumbing and heating experts" and some long hours. Its a relief to have "real heat" again....and ONE LESS thing to worry about! I have a wonderful family, both extended and immediate. They are all so very thoughtful and caring. It means so much to know that no matter what it is that I am going through, they are always there for me. Dayna popped in for a VERY surprise visit this week. I was shocked, but so thrilled to see her as she walked in the door. She has no idea what her visit meant to me, especially this week. I am grateful to have such a very thoughtful daughter, I don't know what I would do without her. I am blessed as a mother to have such amazing kids! I not only consider them my children, but my friends.