300 and counting~

I can't believe that I actually have 300 posts on my blog...honestly, I didn't know that I had that much to say...actually I guess that I KNEW I had that much (and more) to say, I just didn't think I would ever put so much into blogging and recording it. Its interesting to be able to look back and see some of what  we've done as a family, some of what has happened both good and bad and some of the things that have shaped my life over the past few years....I am a very private person and only open up about some parts of my life, so in reality...what I blog about is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to me and things going on in my day to day life. Some of you know me really well, some of you think that you know me and then there are some of you that really don't know much about me other than what you read on here....
So in honor of my "300 posts" here are a few more things that will help you to get to know me better~

1. I have a recipe blog with my daughter....betterthanburgers.blogspot.com (most of you probably already knew that one...) I cook almost continually (or so it seems) and enjoy making new, delicious food...BUT on the flip side--I really dislike having to  clean up after myself...because cooking always makes a mess.

2. I love the color green, in any shade. If you have been in my house you will notice that most (not all) rooms are painted or have some shade of green in them..BUT when it comes time to the clothes that I wear, I don't like to wear green...I prefer black or brown.

3. I like to mow my lawn. I find that it gives me time to think, as well as a bit of needed exercise...BUT its always more fun to do it in May when I haven't had to mow my lawn for months, than it is in August when I've had a whole summer of mowing.

4. I started keeping a "planner" beginning in January, you know, one of those books where you write what you need to do every day...WELL, it is now July and I AM STILL doing it. I faithfully write what I want/need to accomplish in it every single day (sometimes if I am super organized I can do it by the week) and have felt like I actually accomplish things, its wonderful. My motto for my day to day living is "Just DO IT, there is no time better than today to get IT done"...BUT sometimes it's a little intimidating to look at my daily tasks and take in all that I need to get done in a 24 hour period, especially when I am hoping to be sleeping for 8 hours of that 24 hour period. 

5. I love veggies of all kinds. I can eat them raw, cooked or right from the garden, it doesn't matter how they are served, I will eat them. When I was in grade school I use to go around and trade my dessert for everyone else's canned spinach, I loved it (still do)...BUT I have to say, there were some desserts that just weren't worth trading...like the big heart shaped sugar cookies that they use to serve on Valentines day, those I kept and ate...no matter what!

6. I love a clean house. I love the look of clean carpets, folded laundry and bare counter tops. I love the smell of cleaner and the idea of walking around my house and having it in order. Whenever we are planning on going on vacation I always clean the house really good before we leave so that when we come home I don't have that mess on top of the mess that we bring home with us. IN REALITY...a clean house makes me feel better and makes me have a better day...BUT sadly, there are days that nothing gets done, that the dishes and laundry pile up and days that I have piles of stuff everywhere...yep, I am not as vigilant in my cleaning as I would like to be.

7. I love to shop!!! There, I admitted it...one of my many shortcomings, its out in the open. I love retail therapy, it makes me feel  HUMAN, it makes me feel wonderful...it makes me forget my problems, if only for a few hours...sad I know.  I love shoes, I love clothes, I love purses, I love crafts, I love jewelry, I love food (although I DON'T like shopping for food), I love books...yes all that frivolous, stupid stuff brings joy to my life and a smile to my face...BUT I also realize that money doesn't grow on trees (at least on any trees that I get to harvest from) and I don't/won't spend it if I don't have it...I'm not one of those kinds of shoppers. 

8. I am a worrier, a stresser and a thinker...which in turn makes me worry and stress. I have a hard time relaxing because I always seem to have something on my mind. I've always wished that I could just sit back and relax like normal people do...but its harder than you think, especially if it doesn't come naturally...and it doesn't come naturally for me. 
I am defiantly a DOER and like to be doing something, anything...all the time. I love to go on vacation and do DIFFERENT things, different from my normal routine, thats how I relax. It doesn't matter whether it's cleaning, gardening, organizing, working, sightseeing, shopping or just walking around, I just like to be moving. Very seldom will you catch me laying around and reading, sitting or watching TV...its just really hard for me to do. I've had people say to me, "Just sit down and relax, you will feel better" I don't think my body knows what relaxing is. If and when I DO sit down, I usually fall asleep-I don't like naps because then I wake up feeling sick to my stomach and I have a headache....it's a vicious cycle...BUT oh well, I've been this way my entire life...I don't know any different and at least I can get a lot accomplished even if it just wandering in circles sometimes. 

9. On the news the other day they were talking about "Morning People" and "Night People" and what  the characteristics of each of those were. I have always thought of myself as a "Morning Person"...come to find out...I really am! I had all of the characteristics that qualify me to be a morning person. I don't always jump out of bed with a smile on my face and a happy attitude every morning...(but I'm working on that, I am trying to do better) I love getting up when everything is quiet outside, when the rush of the world hasn't begun. I love the fact that when I get up I still have many hours of daylight left and the fact that I haven't slept my day away, wasting it (in my opinion) on sleeping. I love to wake up to the sound of birds chirping, crickets in the background and the morning sun peering up over the mountains. I love to feel the crisp morning air come through the open windows and to be able to smell the fresh day ahead....I really love mornings, it's my favorite time of the day, by far...BUT there are those cold wintery days that I wished I could just sleep the entire day away, ignoring everything around me. Those are the days when I wished I wasn't a "morning person". 

10. I have a very strong sense of smell. I can smell a skink bug for miles (seriously), a rotten potato as soon as I walk in the house, skunks if they are even in the vicinity, the smell of fresh pine trees in the mountains and the smell of fish in the water...I can smell gas and have detected a leak in our house more than once when no one else could smell it. I don't know why, but I was blessed with a good sniffer (maybe I am part "blood hound"). I have a lot of "favorite smells"...some of which are: exhaust from a diesel engine, leather, lilacs, the Hollister store (a store in the mall) the air after a quick thunderstorm, babies (yum), cinnamon rolls cooking in the oven, freshly baked bread, the interior of a new car, clorox on my sheets (especially after they have been hung on the line to dry!), certain colognes and perfumes, a farm (I know...go figure), horses, and rootbeer (but I don't love to drink it)....those are a few of my FAVORITES. BUT some of my least favorite smells are: rotten anything, dirty bathrooms, mold, gun powder, marigolds, stink bugs, sweaty bodies, fire, bacon cooking, flowery candles and raw eggs....just thought you'd want to know. 

So now after 300 posts to my blog...you know 

"just a little more about the corky, insane, sometimes weird and eccentric... crazy little things that make up....Me"...

Leaving the nest for bigger things....

I've never been good at good-byes, especially when it comes to my kids. It started with Dayna when she moved to Logan in the Fall, after graduation. Then 2 years later Todd followed, a year after that Erik followed suit and moved away as well. Kim decided she didn't want to hang around for the summer,  she wanted to leave home right after graduation and get a feel for her new found independence. She has always been a amazing girl who knew what she wanted and where she wanted to go in life. She has a very strong head on her shoulders and will go far in life, I am sure of it!!! SO the day after we arrived home from our wonderful vacation we loaded her up, as well as her belongings, and drove her to her new home.

(Dad having a tough time letting her go) 

(good-bye, going to miss you....Bro AKA...Dad)

I couldn't believe that we were doing this once AGAIN. It's so hard for me to cut the apron strings and let my kids go out in the lone and dreary world and learn what life is all about....all by themselves! As a mom, I have spent my entire life taking care of my children, keeping them safe, making sure they get to bed on time and eat right. I take care of them when they are sick, make sure they make good choices and live right....then I have to set them free and see if I really taught them anything! Sometimes it feels like I am turning them out into a field with a pack of wolves...and I have to just sit back and watch to see if they can fend for themselves...it's a terrifying feeling for me. Instinct tells me that I need to be out there in that "field", to protect them... and to keep them safe and sound.

(good-bye Mom...good-bye "MaryAnn")

(Keep smiling even though its hard)

Saying good bye to Kim was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Good-byes are never easy...Even though I know that she is well prepared to face the world, I know that she will choose the right paths for her life and do what is right...for my own selfish reasons, I'm just not ready to let her face the big world without me! I miss having her home to talk to, to laugh with, to spend time doing fun/crazy things with. I miss her fun, happy personality that just lights up our entire home. I miss waking her up in the morning...with a "Good Morning MaryAnn" (thats the nickname I gave her) and watching a smile come across her beautiful face. I miss teasing her and climbing in bed with her on a Saturday morning and talking about life and whatever is on her mind. I miss her laugh and our long drives. I miss her hugs and her smiles... every single day! I miss her....I just miss everything about her...But I would feel like a failure as a mother if she (or any of my children) stuck around here and expected me to take care of her forever and never did anything with her life. So....in all reality... I am really proud of her. I am glad that she has chosen to be a grown up, proud that she wants and WILL do something with her life. Proud that she has enough sense to choose the right and become a stronger person, develop her talents and make something of herself. I am happy that she has chosen to be independent and to learn and to grow both intellectually as well as spiritually. She is a wonderful, sweet, kind hearted, positive, hardworking, fun, smart girl...and I know she will leave a mark on the world, a very good mark!

I miss you MaryAnn...I am also proud of who you are and what you have become!

You are such an amazing girl and you make me want to be more like you!

I love you so much!!!! 

    

Never thought it would happen....

While we were on vacation, riding on the "train ride"(refer to past post)....out of NO WHERE we see 2 bears just walking along a road by the train. Everyone started yelling...."BEARS, BEARS" and of course I HAD JUST PUT MY CAMERA AWAY...so as I scrambled to get it back out of my bag, I missed getting a picture of the other bear but I was lucky enough to get a picture of this one....It was pretty exciting but sort of scary at the same time. Seeing a bear in the wild is ALOT different than seeing one behind a cement barrier at the Zoo where you can look and watch them play. Its a little intimidating and I can honestly say that I was glad that I was on the train and NOT out for a walk on that road. He was a pretty big bear, at least I thought he was. He stood there and looked at us for quite awhile. I guess we were the Zoo animals this time...all behind bars and barriers...and HE was staring at us, watching us do our thing. Regardless of who was watching who, it was pretty neat, especially since I never thought I would get to "really see a bear" in the wild...that was just one of those things that "happens to other people".

Now I can cross off "seeing a bear in the wild" from my bucket list...another one down!

Hug your KiDs!!!!!..because you just never know what tomorrow will bring!

**Warning: Proceed with caution! 

Some pictures may be disturbing. 

If you have a weak stomach you may want to avoid this post***

Cameron has always been a happy, go lucky kind of kid....thats just one of the things that I love about him. From the time he was just little he loved to follow grown ups around, helping, asking questions and visit with them. He has always loved to spend time with his grandpa's, his uncles, cousins and his dad, along with his brothers and sisters.  He has always loved to go up with Grandpa Wilkerson and work on the farm hauling hay, fixing fence, changing water and feeding the horses. He loves to go to Lake Powell with Grandpa Weight and his uncles or fixing up the cabin, working or playing...he just loves being with them. He's just the kind of person that likes to spend time with people doing whatever, and helping them out...it makes him happy.

Last week Cameron went with one of his friends to help him move his sprinkler lines...most of us would dread that, but not Cameron, he thought it sounded like great fun. He had called and asked if he could go and that they had to go up in a field that was a ways away from town. I told him that it would be fine and to be home by 10:00. I wasn't feeling well that night so I was getting ready to hit the sack and Deron was going to wait up for him. Just a little after 9pm I got a call from a very frantic Cameron saying that he needed me to come and get him. He had been in a motorcycle accident and had cut his leg up pretty bad. It was bleeding and he couldn't get it to stop. He couldn't walk on it and didn't know if it was broken. Fear ran through my mind and all I could think about was getting up to Cam's friends house and seeing if he was all right. His friend lives several miles out of town and driving there seemed to take forever. When we pulled up in the driveway, Christie, Cameron's friends mom...was out by the truck taking care of him and talking to him...just being there for him. I was so glad that she was there and keeping him calm and making sure he was okay. (Thanks Christie, that meant so much to know you were there and that he was taken care of...I appreciate you more than you could ever realize!!!) Cameron was going into shock and his cut was bleeding pretty bad. It was dark and we couldn't tell exactly how deep the cut was or just how severe it might be. We knew it was really bad and we were worried that it might possibly have broken the bone and what it might have cut through.

We called the ambulance and met them in town and then followed them the 30 minutes it took to get to the hospital. We knew they were better equipped to handle what was going on with Cameron than we were at the time. Driving the 30 miles seemed like 300 miles...

To make a long story "shorter"...Cameron broke NO bones and missed the tendons in his foot. His cut was about 6-7" long and cut clear to the bone. He got 30+ stitches through several layers of muscle and skin.

The doctors main concern was infection. He said because it was so very deep that the risk of infection was really high...he told us what to watch for and to come back over immediately if we noticed anything. WELL...the way our lives are going lately....he got infection....just as the Doctor suspected he would. We took him back over Sunday afternoon after he was fevering, his leg was swelling really bad, the wound was draining smelly gross stuff and his leg had red streaks up and down it...typical signs of infection. The doctor took one look at Cameron and started him on IV antibiotics. We will have to go to the hospital for the next 7 days for IV therapy. IF his leg is not looking better by Tuesday then surgery will be the next step....we are just praying that this clears it up because we are tired of all this crazy stress in our lives...haven't we had enough already?!!!

There are days that I want to just stick my head in the sand and forget about everything that is going on, everything from today, yesterday and from practically the entire year. There are nights that my mind wanders and I think of all the stressful things happening and my mind just won't shut off... making it impossible to sleep....which then stresses me (one of those endless cycles you know). There have been times during this year that I wonder what it is that I am supposed to be learning through all of this adversity that seems to be plaguing my life...whatever it is, I must not be a very quick learner because it almost feels like I'm caught in a tornado and things keep hitting me from every side....and for some reason, I just can't get out of it. But on the flip side, we are so grateful that Cam's accident wasn't any worse than it was...because heaven knows that it could have been, especially where he didn't have on a helmet and then just the simple fact that he is a teenage boy that thinks he is invincible, as all teenage boys do. I am so grateful that he is all in one piece and that he will eventually recover from this ordeal. I love my Cam and just feel so blessed that he is my son and going to be okay!!!! Life is so short...so unpredictable and defiantly a test. I feel blessed to be able to watch my children fall asleep once again, as the day comes to a close...to know they are safe and sound and under my roof. I feel so blessed that Cameron is alive and is still his smiley, happy and thoughtful self. I don't know what I would do without him!!!! I can't let myself think about all the "what if's" the "could have beens" and the "might haves" because then I just lose it and cry uncontrolably...you know, the UGLY cry!...I have to focus on the "here and now's" and just be grateful....and I am Grateful...more than ever!

Day 4...THE END...it always comes too fast!

I always hate the END of a vacation because it means "getting back to life" and picking up where you left off...the problems, worries and every day stress of things that have all been put on hold for a short time are there waiting to be picked back up again. Although, on a positive note, it's usually nice to sleep back in my own bed...but I would love to spend more time on vacation without the worries of LIFE... wouldn't we all!?!

(getting ready to hike...little did we know HOW HOT it was going to be)

(one of the many cliff dwellings that we visited...these pictures don't do this place justice)

We got up Saturday morning, packed up the car and headed back toward UTAH. We decided that we wanted to take a small detour and stop by Mesa Verde Colorado to see the famous cliff dwellings before we actually called our vacation "OVER", one more little stop. It was a little more off the road than we had originally thought (like 20+ miles in and UP a very scary road...for me anyway) but it was worth it.

(Cliff Palace...a view from up on top before we hiked down in)

(Almost there...it was a majestic and amazing sight!)

We hiked down into the Cliff Palace with a tour guide and experienced tight places and a steep climb both up and down the mountain.

(down, down, down we go....)

(We climbed up a ladder between those rocks. If you look at the top of the pic you can see someone in a white shirt and hat, they are just climbing out and getting to the top of the ladder... thats how you get out of Cliff Palace....)

We climbed between narrow rocks and up very tall ladders, it was 103 degrees which made it even a little more challenging, but we all made it and felt like it was worth the time and effort that it took to see the amazing sights in the area.

The ride home was HOT and very tiring. The air conditioner quit on our car SOOOOOO "HOT" is an understatement...it felt like an oven inside the car as we are driving down the highway. It was 101-103 degrees outside and even with having the vent on to push the air around and having all 4 windows down it didn't make it very cool....but we survived and we will all appreciate COOL air a little bit more once we are able to get  the AC fixed and working again.

We had such a great time, spending 4 days with JUST each other. Everyone got along AWESOMELY WONDERFUL AND FANTASTICALLY WELL... that in and of itself makes for a "wonderful vacation". But Now vacation is over and its back to our normal way of life....awwww bummer!

Day 3 continued....Going back in time, at least for a few hours~

Silverton Colorado....a place I probably would never have gone had we not jumped on a train for a fun family excursion, although-- you can get there via the "Million Dollar Highway"...which I VOW to never go on because of my intense fear of driving on high mountain cliffs, close to the edge of the road (did I mention-its very HIGH??), with the only thing to look at is the DROP OFFS...NOT going to get this girl to do that, sorry...uh uh no way!!!!

ANYWAY...back to our day~
 Silverton Colorado......looks and feels like a place right out of an old John Wayne movie...brought up to the 21 century.  It's a very "touristy" kind of town...but an interesting place to spend and hour or 2, eat and walk/look around....and thats just what we did. When on vacation---act like a tourist, right?!!

(yes, that is a bike suspended from chains...hanging on main street?...Maybe it's the lost and found?)

Silverton use to be full of silver mines, saloons, restaurants, brothels and a lot of people. Then the mines closed down and everyone, along with everything...just up and left. NOW there is only 532 people that reside there (I am pretty sure that most of them are now business owners of the little shops and cafes, as well as the saloons there in town).

(this restaurant "WAS" something else before they made it into an eating joint..ha ha ha)

The only thing that keeps the town going is the tourism from the train, buses and the people that stop in from off the Million Dollar Highway. Their school is a K-12th grade and was made for  more students than attend it now....(we had a little chat with our 16 year old waiter at the restaurant and he gave us the scoop...what a nice, polite teenager he was).

After getting off the train, we walked up to the main area of town and ate lunch at a cute little restaurant called Grumpy's.

They had the BEST darn BURGERS that I have ever eaten....(I made a few attempts at copying the recipes so watch on betterthanburgers.blogspot.com and they will be posted there in a few weeks...my attempts turned out pretty darn good too)

(Cameron found someone shorter than him and we thought we better get a picture...ha ha ha

Cameron is actually close to 6'5" and still growing...so I meant that with sarcasm)

(We found Kimber a boyfriend, Halle is too young, so we thought we would get a picture of the 2 of them...since she probably will never see him again)

(Cameron found himself a new car...but had to leave it there...they wouldn't let him bring it home on the train, and we already paid for his ticket so he had to come with us...)

We even stopped by this adorable caboose for a quick picture...then we found out it was SOMEONES HOUSE...OPPS...oh well we laughed for a long time.

After lunch we wandered around the little town, looked in their shops and then walked down to the train station to check out the old trains.

(found me a job...but the pay was awful, so I quit)

(yes, she is pushing the train with one hand...don't worry, it didn't move)

(so...is she holding the pole up or is the pole HOLDING HER UP? hmmmm...makes you wonder)

(this is the REAL CABOOSE of our train, no one lives here...ha ha ha)

(they even have a store full of Bigfoot stuff....what else could a tourist want?!)

It's a cute little town, but it's mostly set up for tourists and doesn't have much to offer other than eating and souvenir shops....oh and LOTS of bars...but we aren't in to that.

The scenery is gorgeous. I kept taking pictures of the mountains because I couldn't get over how beautiful they were.

They get a TON of snow in the winter...the rod hooked onto the fire hydrant shows just how high the snow can get sometimes.....crazy...glad I live where I do and NOT here.

It was a nice break and we had a good walk and a wonderful lunch...now it was time to get back on the train and head back to our "vacation home" for packing and a long nights rest so we could get ready for the LONG ride home tomorrow...including a "little detour"....to where you might ask? Watch and see......